im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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