We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
