3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
