Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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