her vagine was all disorganized.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
