Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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