My room smells like vodka and shame
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I understand Curling. That high.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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