Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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