dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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