I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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