I must be too annoying 4 u.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
