went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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