Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
