There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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