member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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