Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
