i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
