is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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