so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
