i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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