Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
