tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There r osticjed everywhere
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
