just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish they made helmets for livers.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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