SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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