But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just forgot I was standing up.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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