You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
