genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
