Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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