I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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