i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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