I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
