no, he came in my armpit
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
