I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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