Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize