wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
