we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
