She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
