she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Enjoy the penises
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
