he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
vagina is talking i cant
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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