please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I wear drunk well.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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