how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My vagina is very pro this idea
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