UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
