Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
