Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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