She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
third nipple confirmed
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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