party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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