You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
