I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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