I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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