He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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