There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
