Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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