Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
