office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
