Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize