The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
