Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
