So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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