Its about making memories worth repressing
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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