Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Of course I have a pirate flag
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
