people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
