it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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